Sunday, May 11
Mom's day
Today's mother's day, and I'm very excited about the present I sent Mom. This past winter I spent a good deal of time being sick and/or sitting on my couch. It's what's done in the winter time. And, as you know, knitting is so conducive for sitting on the couch and/or being sick. So to kill time I made Mom this throw (read 'small blanket') made out of mohair and wool. It's really soft and heavy and is actually quite big for something I knitted. Of course I had intended to make it for her birthday last September, but that ship sailed pretty early on. It took me almost three months to finish, and I was so glad to get it done. I finished it in March and finally mailed it to her last week. So now I'm sitting here waiting, not wanting to wake her up, but wanting to call and wish her a happy mother's day and get the review for the blanket. I don't think she even knew I was working on it. Tee hee.
Sunday, May 4
romantic comedy aka 20 minutes in my mind
Well, so you guys all know what a doofus I am, right? Tonight's example is classic. Here's the back ground:
First of all, I've just started seeing this guy a couple of weeks ago. For privacy's sake (and because it might possibly be slightly more fun than just putting his name here), I'll give him the nickname The Guy I'm Seeing (TGIS or Gis for short). And so far, Gis has been great. He calls me every day, and emails a lot during the week, too. I have to mention that this has been a little difficult for me. I don't really talk to anyone everyday, and I find that I have to start coming up with material to try to keep me interesting. I mean, I have no idea what to talk about most of the time.
Anyway, he's also very prompt and responsive. If I call him, he'll call back right away. He gets major points for both of those things. And he consistently makes time to see me when he can. We've only been going out a couple of weeks, but we've actually seen each other maybe 5 times. 5 times in two weeks. Crazy. What am I supposed to do with all this attention? As a matter of fact, our 5th time will be tomorrow, and I've been looking forward to seeing him. He's been in Providence all weekend, so I've been particularly impressed that he's made the point of being in touch with me while he's away. Usually away means not able to dial the phone at all.
Well, ok. On to the thing. He called and let me know he was coming home from his trip early. I was texting him as I was on my way to hang out with Tori, to see whether we might be able to get together tonight (I really don't have any patience. Never did, if I'm to be honest). And as I was on my way there, I called Jasmine and BeckynAlex to catch up. The Becky and Alex conversation lasted a while and there was some confusion with Tori on where to meet her and I was trying to not get lost. Well, long story short, I eventually hung out with Tori, knitted, watched the Red Sox and Juno, had dinner. The usual. And never heard back from Gis. And I was focusing on Tori, thinking he'd call before he went to bed. But I left Tori's at 11- way after he goes to bed- and didn't hear from him. I was bummed all the way back home. I couldn't believe he didn't at least text. It's these little changes that indicate something bigger, and I was trying to tell myself that it wasn't a big deal. I'm sure there was some reason he didn't get in touch. But what if, you know? We've only been going out for a couple of weeks and people change their minds pretty easily.
And then I thought, well, ok. It's done. He might call me tomorrow, he might not. I shouldn't get so into it so soon. I'm sure he spotted some woman on the train ride as he was coming back from Providence- someone more something. I bet she was in her mid 20's, edgy and almost goth, a little crazy, jaded, anorexic and in desperate need to be saved. Perfect for him. He couldn't resist and I will have to just get over it, be a mature person and say, well, that means this wasn't meant to be I'm sure it'll happen some time blah blah blah.
Or what if he was mad at me and I had no idea? I mean, I do kind of poke at him, make fun of his accent or of where he's from (he's from Providence. Why not make fun?). Maybe he's acting out.
It's because I've been talking about him with people. I've jinxed it. I even referred to him as my man. I said it somewhat sarcastically, so as to knock on wood. As I said it I mentally spit on the ground like the old Greek ladies do when something good happens to them so that the evil eye won't notice them. Or they insult their children in a kind of balanced reparation to the gods who notice hubris and luck.
I got home, put my stuff down and just looked at my phone again. Nope. No missed calls. I looked at my texts and saw that he had indeed text'd me. I know you saw that coming. Yep, he did. A couple of times and the phone just didn't register it. Or I pushed a button or something. He'd gotten back to me pretty quickly, actually, I just had no idea.
And it's not like every stupid romantic comedy doesn't have this same predictable scenario play out. It's just that the stupid romantic comedies aren't my life, they're not my anxiety and they're most definitely not my results. I don't usually end up with the guy. And this is why I hate dating. This part right here were I feel like I should have known better, and shouldn't care so quickly. If I could just hold off on caring for a little while longer, until I have a better idea of who he is and whether he's invest-able. It's the calling every day thing that's gotten me all mooshy and now I have to deal with this ugh. I just don't like the feeling at all. If I had my way right now I'd just never see him again and live my life as an old maid with 5 cats who I will talk to when I get lonely. Did you ever see that cat lady doll? The little doll with crazy gray hair and about 7 cats? Anyway, I'd get that on my birthday from a friend who thought they were being funny but it's more true than it should be.
I know. He did get in touch. That's supposed to be the point, right? But it's not the point. The point is that something that little already gets me going. And I need to figure out how to manage it because I can't relax into this thing and just enjoy it (which is what I want to do) if I fly over to this place so easily.
Anyway, I text'd him a sorry, saying I just got his text and I'm excited to see him tomorrow. I'm making him Sheperd's pie, and I'm excited again. Sigh.
First of all, I've just started seeing this guy a couple of weeks ago. For privacy's sake (and because it might possibly be slightly more fun than just putting his name here), I'll give him the nickname The Guy I'm Seeing (TGIS or Gis for short). And so far, Gis has been great. He calls me every day, and emails a lot during the week, too. I have to mention that this has been a little difficult for me. I don't really talk to anyone everyday, and I find that I have to start coming up with material to try to keep me interesting. I mean, I have no idea what to talk about most of the time.
Anyway, he's also very prompt and responsive. If I call him, he'll call back right away. He gets major points for both of those things. And he consistently makes time to see me when he can. We've only been going out a couple of weeks, but we've actually seen each other maybe 5 times. 5 times in two weeks. Crazy. What am I supposed to do with all this attention? As a matter of fact, our 5th time will be tomorrow, and I've been looking forward to seeing him. He's been in Providence all weekend, so I've been particularly impressed that he's made the point of being in touch with me while he's away. Usually away means not able to dial the phone at all.
Well, ok. On to the thing. He called and let me know he was coming home from his trip early. I was texting him as I was on my way to hang out with Tori, to see whether we might be able to get together tonight (I really don't have any patience. Never did, if I'm to be honest). And as I was on my way there, I called Jasmine and BeckynAlex to catch up. The Becky and Alex conversation lasted a while and there was some confusion with Tori on where to meet her and I was trying to not get lost. Well, long story short, I eventually hung out with Tori, knitted, watched the Red Sox and Juno, had dinner. The usual. And never heard back from Gis. And I was focusing on Tori, thinking he'd call before he went to bed. But I left Tori's at 11- way after he goes to bed- and didn't hear from him. I was bummed all the way back home. I couldn't believe he didn't at least text. It's these little changes that indicate something bigger, and I was trying to tell myself that it wasn't a big deal. I'm sure there was some reason he didn't get in touch. But what if, you know? We've only been going out for a couple of weeks and people change their minds pretty easily.
And then I thought, well, ok. It's done. He might call me tomorrow, he might not. I shouldn't get so into it so soon. I'm sure he spotted some woman on the train ride as he was coming back from Providence- someone more something. I bet she was in her mid 20's, edgy and almost goth, a little crazy, jaded, anorexic and in desperate need to be saved. Perfect for him. He couldn't resist and I will have to just get over it, be a mature person and say, well, that means this wasn't meant to be I'm sure it'll happen some time blah blah blah.
Or what if he was mad at me and I had no idea? I mean, I do kind of poke at him, make fun of his accent or of where he's from (he's from Providence. Why not make fun?). Maybe he's acting out.
It's because I've been talking about him with people. I've jinxed it. I even referred to him as my man. I said it somewhat sarcastically, so as to knock on wood. As I said it I mentally spit on the ground like the old Greek ladies do when something good happens to them so that the evil eye won't notice them. Or they insult their children in a kind of balanced reparation to the gods who notice hubris and luck.
I got home, put my stuff down and just looked at my phone again. Nope. No missed calls. I looked at my texts and saw that he had indeed text'd me. I know you saw that coming. Yep, he did. A couple of times and the phone just didn't register it. Or I pushed a button or something. He'd gotten back to me pretty quickly, actually, I just had no idea.
And it's not like every stupid romantic comedy doesn't have this same predictable scenario play out. It's just that the stupid romantic comedies aren't my life, they're not my anxiety and they're most definitely not my results. I don't usually end up with the guy. And this is why I hate dating. This part right here were I feel like I should have known better, and shouldn't care so quickly. If I could just hold off on caring for a little while longer, until I have a better idea of who he is and whether he's invest-able. It's the calling every day thing that's gotten me all mooshy and now I have to deal with this ugh. I just don't like the feeling at all. If I had my way right now I'd just never see him again and live my life as an old maid with 5 cats who I will talk to when I get lonely. Did you ever see that cat lady doll? The little doll with crazy gray hair and about 7 cats? Anyway, I'd get that on my birthday from a friend who thought they were being funny but it's more true than it should be.
I know. He did get in touch. That's supposed to be the point, right? But it's not the point. The point is that something that little already gets me going. And I need to figure out how to manage it because I can't relax into this thing and just enjoy it (which is what I want to do) if I fly over to this place so easily.
Anyway, I text'd him a sorry, saying I just got his text and I'm excited to see him tomorrow. I'm making him Sheperd's pie, and I'm excited again. Sigh.
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