my jukebox

Aaron and the monkey

2010-01-05T17:45:00.002-05:00

So in case you haven't already seen it, here's a picture of Aaron loving up the sock monkey I made him. I think those two look just a little too familiar. I always wondered why my brother loved sock monkeys so much.

I think this is the only picture that made it out of the holidays. Hey, look. What do you want. At least I'm posting again.

Happy New Year

2010-01-02T14:20:00.004-05:00

Once again my Resolutions revolve around keeping in touch. That's been my resolution for countless years (probably sometime around 11th grade), but this year's the year. Just you wait. And so I'm trying again with the blog. It's reminding me a lot of when I tried to write in my journal in high school, with long gaps between dates. I smell a trend.

Well, so what's happened in the intervening months? Not much. All kinds of things. You know, the usual.

I've become addicted to the smittenkitchen.com blog. It's given me the recipes for so many yummy foods, and the opportunity to see Tori and the family. She's always good about letting come down and experiment with different recipes. Did you know Tori's pregnant again?

And, what else has happened. Umm I've discovered I'm more apathetic about dating, if that were even possible. I'm going too indulge myself in a bit of a bitch-fest, so skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to hear it. I've started telling people to stop asking me about dating, stop suggesting I change my attitude or look at dating in a different way (as if that ever works. I mean, don't you think I would if I could? Like I didn't think of that already? As if I haven't already tried? Several times? Good lord), and start becoming ok with the idea that it might never happen. I know how that sounds, but I mean it. I give up. I have no energy or emotional whatever to 'date' in the unconcerned, happy-go-lucky, what ever happens happens kind of way that dating is all about. Fuck it. Dating can just go screw itself. Happy fucking new year.

And, lets see. What else. I've knitted more projects, including a sock monkey for my brother, which was such a labor of love. That thing had so many different steps, although it did go pretty fast. All things considered. I bought a book that has patterns for all these different animals, and I know all these people who are going to have babies in the spring and I thought maybe I could start a whole new series of little washable, hypo-allergenic creatures that could be ready by spring. Let's see how I do. Besides, Becky asked for a giraffe. Her birthday's in August, so there's a good chance I'll have it done by then.

As for right now, I'm thinking I might need to take a shower, shovel my car and get ready to get going with my day. It's 3pm after all. Seems like a good time. Hopefully I'll post again soon.

caring

2008-06-07T15:38:00.003-04:00

So instead of going outside and enjoying the first almost-90-degree day we've had this calendar year, I am inside my house playing on the computer. Mostly it's cause it's very cool in my house- so far the thermometer in here has only gotten to 70. It's heaven. I can sit here and look at the beautiful weather without getting all hot and muggy. Perfect.

Well, while I was on the computer I cam across this really cool website that's all about sharing ideas. They give these talks and it's very interesting. My favorite one so far is this one about compassion.

You should watch it. It's just so interesting. I never really thought about what makes people compassionate, you know?

Mom's day

2008-05-11T10:41:00.003-04:00

Today's mother's day, and I'm very excited about the present I sent Mom. This past winter I spent a good deal of time being sick and/or sitting on my couch. It's what's done in the winter time. And, as you know, knitting is so conducive for sitting on the couch and/or being sick. So to kill time I made Mom this throw (read 'small blanket') made out of mohair and wool. It's really soft and heavy and is actually quite big for something I knitted. Of course I had intended to make it for her birthday last September, but that ship sailed pretty early on. It took me almost three months to finish, and I was so glad to get it done. I finished it in March and finally mailed it to her last week. So now I'm sitting here waiting, not wanting to wake her up, but wanting to call and wish her a happy mother's day and get the review for the blanket. I don't think she even knew I was working on it. Tee hee.

romantic comedy aka 20 minutes in my mind

2008-05-04T00:18:00.010-04:00

Well, so you guys all know what a doofus I am, right? Tonight's example is classic. Here's the back ground:

First of all, I've just started seeing this guy a couple of weeks ago. For privacy's sake (and because it might possibly be slightly more fun than just putting his name here), I'll give him the nickname The Guy I'm Seeing (TGIS or Gis for short). And so far, Gis has been great. He calls me every day, and emails a lot during the week, too. I have to mention that this has been a little difficult for me. I don't really talk to anyone everyday, and I find that I have to start coming up with material to try to keep me interesting. I mean, I have no idea what to talk about most of the time.

Anyway, he's also very prompt and responsive. If I call him, he'll call back right away. He gets major points for both of those things. And he consistently makes time to see me when he can. We've only been going out a couple of weeks, but we've actually seen each other maybe 5 times. 5 times in two weeks. Crazy. What am I supposed to do with all this attention? As a matter of fact, our 5th time will be tomorrow, and I've been looking forward to seeing him. He's been in Providence all weekend, so I've been particularly impressed that he's made the point of being in touch with me while he's away. Usually away means not able to dial the phone at all.

Well, ok. On to the thing. He called and let me know he was coming home from his trip early. I was texting him as I was on my way to hang out with Tori, to see whether we might be able to get together tonight (I really don't have any patience. Never did, if I'm to be honest). And as I was on my way there, I called Jasmine and BeckynAlex to catch up. The Becky and Alex conversation lasted a while and there was some confusion with Tori on where to meet her and I was trying to not get lost. Well, long story short, I eventually hung out with Tori, knitted, watched the Red Sox and Juno, had dinner. The usual. And never heard back from Gis. And I was focusing on Tori, thinking he'd call before he went to bed. But I left Tori's at 11- way after he goes to bed- and didn't hear from him. I was bummed all the way back home. I couldn't believe he didn't at least text. It's these little changes that indicate something bigger, and I was trying to tell myself that it wasn't a big deal. I'm sure there was some reason he didn't get in touch. But what if, you know? We've only been going out for a couple of weeks and people change their minds pretty easily.

And then I thought, well, ok. It's done. He might call me tomorrow, he might not. I shouldn't get so into it so soon. I'm sure he spotted some woman on the train ride as he was coming back from Providence- someone more something. I bet she was in her mid 20's, edgy and almost goth, a little crazy, jaded, anorexic and in desperate need to be saved. Perfect for him. He couldn't resist and I will have to just get over it, be a mature person and say, well, that means this wasn't meant to be I'm sure it'll happen some time blah blah blah.

Or what if he was mad at me and I had no idea? I mean, I do kind of poke at him, make fun of his accent or of where he's from (he's from Providence. Why not make fun?). Maybe he's acting out.

It's because I've been talking about him with people. I've jinxed it. I even referred to him as my man. I said it somewhat sarcastically, so as to knock on wood. As I said it I mentally spit on the ground like the old Greek ladies do when something good happens to them so that the evil eye won't notice them. Or they insult their children in a kind of balanced reparation to the gods who notice hubris and luck.

I got home, put my stuff down and just looked at my phone again. Nope. No missed calls. I looked at my texts and saw that he had indeed text'd me. I know you saw that coming. Yep, he did. A couple of times and the phone just didn't register it. Or I pushed a button or something. He'd gotten back to me pretty quickly, actually, I just had no idea.

And it's not like every stupid romantic comedy doesn't have this same predictable scenario play out. It's just that the stupid romantic comedies aren't my life, they're not my anxiety and they're most definitely not my results. I don't usually end up with the guy. And this is why I hate dating. This part right here were I feel like I should have known better, and shouldn't care so quickly. If I could just hold off on caring for a little while longer, until I have a better idea of who he is and whether he's invest-able. It's the calling every day thing that's gotten me all mooshy and now I have to deal with this ugh. I just don't like the feeling at all. If I had my way right now I'd just never see him again and live my life as an old maid with 5 cats who I will talk to when I get lonely. Did you ever see that cat lady doll? The little doll with crazy gray hair and about 7 cats? Anyway, I'd get that on my birthday from a friend who thought they were being funny but it's more true than it should be.

I know. He did get in touch. That's supposed to be the point, right? But it's not the point. The point is that something that little already gets me going. And I need to figure out how to manage it because I can't relax into this thing and just enjoy it (which is what I want to do) if I fly over to this place so easily.

Anyway, I text'd him a sorry, saying I just got his text and I'm excited to see him tomorrow. I'm making him Sheperd's pie, and I'm excited again. Sigh.

being a woman

2008-04-24T23:10:00.005-04:00

I saw this poem called Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou, and just love it. And want to share it with you. It's better, I think, if you read it out loud- particularly if you happen to be a woman. Just a thought.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

Open all the windows

2008-04-11T09:22:00.002-04:00

Yesterday it was 70 degrees- our first since I really don't know when. And I decided to take the opportunity to open some windows in the house- windows that haven't been open since the fall. Literally, since last November. I've been missing the open windows: the birds chirping, louder outside noises, fresh air. Oh, the fresh air. But staying warm and keeping the heating cost down was the higher priority.

But now spring is here. It was 70 yesterday, and I have transitioned into this season by opening some windows. Forget the fact that it's supposed to be in the 40's and rainy for the next couple of days. I don't care that I have a bad head cold and am staying home all day. I will pile on the blankets and sweaters and enjoy the open windows.

my latest obsession

2008-04-07T17:04:00.002-04:00

I can't stop thinking about the person who backed into my car and only left the dent. No note, no paint left on my car with which the offending car color could be identified. Nothing. It's the most benign kind of hit and run, with the biggest impact being on my wallet. And my piece of mind. This was someone on my street- someone who lives just a couple of houses away. Probably. They could have been visiting. Or meandering around, driving drunk and hitting it sideways. Regardless, I need to take it in and get it at least looked at. But who has time in the middle of the work day?

My other obsession is still bathroom etiquette. I recently went down to Nashville to visit Natae (woo hoooo! so much fun to see fabulous buggs!) and I was actually relieved to go to the bathrooms at the airport because they have those seat covers. Now that I've re-learned how to use the facilities without one, it's a little like coming home to have the option available to me. God bless the paper toilette covers. Alex told me I can carry around some ultra-folded version in my purse, but I think that just takes this a little too far. Just over the line, if you know what I mean.

And why, tell me why, oh why does someone have to sit in the stall right next to me when all the other stalls are available? It's a personal space issue. I mean, really. Who would do that?

Restricted access

2008-03-25T21:28:00.001-04:00

I am outraged. Out-raged. Out of rage. Whatever.

http://www.townonline.com/cambridge/homepage/x222324255

What does it take to tell people they shouldn't let dogs from other neighborhoods walk around? That dogs need tags to prove they're local? It seems so contrary to what being a pet owner is all about.

just perfect

2008-03-25T21:21:00.002-04:00

So I saw this blog and just had to share. It's perfect. And I have to recommend you go back several posts, because the more you read it the funnier it is.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

You just have to see it for yourself.

California, coming home

2007-12-23T14:13:00.000-05:00

Here I am in California for the holidays. I'm here at my Dad's house in LA, waiting for Becky to come pick me up so we can have a day out and about. I don't think the two of us have spent time together in LA since college. Can that be right?

Hmm. Well, the sun is shining here and it's almost 65 degrees and I am just soaking in the sunshine. It's a stark contrast from the snowy wasteland I came from. I know I've been complaining about the snow and the cold, which is just a little wrong. I mean, what did I expect? It's Boston, for crying out loud. Who thinks it's going to be warm in winter in Boston? But the thing is, it's still quite startling for me.

Two Thursdays ago we had this huge storm where I was in Shrewsbury for a meeting and it took me 6 hours to get home. Now normally it takes me a little over an hour. Just for some perspective, I only had a quarter of a tank of gas (I tried to get more but my gas tank was frozen shut and I couldn't get it open) and it lasted me the whole 6 hours. That's how slow I was going. It was awful. I was nervous the entire time about driving on snow and ice, people were fishtailing in front of me and I was needing to pee for 4 of those 6 hours. I'm still traumatized. People are saying we got as much snow this fall as we got all last winter. WTF?

So now I'm in LA and for the holidays all I asked for from the parents were snow tires. They're expensive, and it's going to be such a relief when I'm driving all over the Commonwealth. I also asked Aaron to help me buy a coat. Maybe between the tires and the coat I'll find something else to complain about.

I can't believe that I didn't mention

2007-12-11T17:40:00.001-05:00

Tori had her baby! You know that storm I mentioned? The one from this past Monday? Not yesterday but last Monday. Anyway, I guess the air pressure did something to her pregnancy and the little girl came early. Which is a good thing, because even coming three weeks early, this little girl was 7 lbs 7 oz's. Crazy, huh. Her name is Emma Blaheen (it's not really spelled like that. That's just how I say it. It think it's spelled Blaithin, but how would you know how to say that?). And there's a picture of her up there. See?

The other news from last Monday is that not only was it Natae's birthday, but Natae also got engaged. For those of you who know her, this isn't really news. And perhaps the rest of you don't really care quite as much. But if you knew her you would be just as thrilled for her as I am. And it was still a banner day with all kinds of things going on besides snow.

it's cold

2007-12-11T16:55:00.000-05:00

I think I have a theme going on here.

Two weekends ago I went for a long walk and fall was in full throttle over the area. There were trees with yellowing (and oranging and redding) leaves, and the ground was covered in color. And then a storm came the following monday and it was all gone. Winter has arrived, and I don't care what the calendar says. There's, what, two more weeks until the solstice and the official beginning of the season? Yeah right. It's here.

We've had almost a week of temperatures averaging in the 30's and the ice yesterday morning was the worst I've experienced. There was rain throughout the night, freezing at some point so that by the time I got out to my car on Monday there was maybe a quarter of an inch of ice cementing my car closed. The ground was so iced over that I was slipping and sliding around just trying to open my car door. I've said this before, but a person born and raised in California has no business driving in these conditions. And I was a little terrified about driving on the highways in this mess. I mean, really. There were reports of accidents all up and down the major highways and I had a meeting an hour away.

Of course I called my boss and asked if I REALLY had to go to this meeting, and he told me to use my best judgment. As if I can say 'no' to that. So I looked up the road conditions on the internet and found that the roads I had to take to get to my meeting seemed to have been well sanded, and that the biggest challenge to me would be to get to the highway. And I know there are no big hills between me and the highway, so off I went. Going maybe 5 miles an hour to get onto the main roads (I have this thought- I don't know where it came from- that if you go really slow in the ice or snow you'll have a better chance of arriving somewhere safely. Right now it's just a superstition, but I'm sticking to it. It's worked so far). It ended up taking me twice as long to get to Marlboro, but I got there. And I went straight home afterwards and worked from home. Sigh.

So winter's here. Here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks. Some of them were taken with my cell phone, and the others were with a real camera. Sorry about the quality of the photos.

Hey Vincent!

Ok. Here's fall.

Three days later, and bam. It's winter. That's just the way it goes over here.

side effects

2007-11-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

It's snowing today- the first snow of the year. And it's not cold enough for the snow to be sticking to the ground or anything, but it's still that cold. It's been cold for several weeks now and I've begun to realize that my internal heater is a little off. Over the last several months I've been really trying to loose some weight with some success. The only problem with that is that I get cold a lot easier. I mean, much easier. This was something I hadn't planned for. Now I think I need more sweaters (not really a bad thing since I love sweaters) and a good winter coat. But the thing I'm most aware of is the fact that I'm going to have the heat on a little more this winter than last winter. And I think it's why I'm liking the flannel a little better.

It's a little bit of a re-adjustment, tho. Being colder. I'm finding that I don't like it quite as much as I thought I would.

a new appreciation for flannel

2007-11-14T17:56:00.001-05:00

It's getting cold again. Temperatures are getting in the low 30's and it's my favorite time of year over here. The leaves are changing and it's perfect scarf weather without getting to be too damn cold to want to go outside.

This year I finally gave in and put flannel sheets on my bed. I don't usually use flannel sheets; they're too hot by the end of the evening and I get sweaty, and well, they're not usually that fun. But I've decided they might just be worth that since they're nice and warm when I climb in to bed at night. I love soft cotton sheets, but that climbing into a cold bed has just got to go. Besides. I can leave the window open just a little while I sleep and it works out well.

testing

2007-11-14T17:26:00.000-05:00

So it's been so long since I've posted that neither my computer nor I could remember my password. Pathetic. Think anyone's still reading this?

In the last two months I:

Went apple picking (twice! Yes, it's that much fun)
Had a visit from my Mom and Grandmother (pictures pending)
Broke up with the Boy
Signed up on Match.com and went on some crazyass dates with random internet guys
Cut my hair (pictures pending)
Went to a funny Halloween party (pictures- well. you get it)
Got back together with the Boy (this is recent- within the past week or so- and at this particular moment I'm remembering why we stopped seeing eachother to begin with. Ugh. I hate dating)
Learned a new knitting technique (and decided that most people will be getting knitted items for the holidays)
Hung out with Natae (hurray!)
Went to Tori's baby shower (she's only got one month to go)

I think that's it. Here are some pictures from my various escapades.

Apple picking with my cousins- Dan and Emily and Noah and baby Talia- and with Moira and Vincent.

I don't know why Mom took a picture of Grandma at the graveyard. But, well, there she is.

Dinner to welcome Tori's Mom and Natae back to the area.

Hi Natae!

Me as Velma on Halloween.

Me and Mom. Isn't she the best?

pictures of the islands

2007-09-05T17:06:00.000-04:00

Well, this weekend I went to the Harbor Islands with Jasmine and Jason, and met up with Mike and some of his friends from Spain. This weekend was a banner weekend for a couple of reasons: it was Mike's birthday on Sunday and Monday was Jas and Jason's one year mark. So much to celebrate, so little alcohol.

I for one got my vitamin D fix for a while.

my favorite reality moment

2007-08-31T07:45:00.000-04:00

I usually don't like reality tv- or I guess I should say I usually enjoy watching it to make fun of it. But I have to say that there is one moment that I truly love. I was cruzing around youtube several months ago and saw that guy, Paul Potts, from Britain's Got Talent. You know, the English equivalent to America's Got Talent. And every time I watch this clip I think it's so moving.

Check it out.

I also love the addition of Aerosmith at the end.

such a groovy sunday

2007-08-19T19:00:00.000-04:00

I've been having a little bit of fun with the old digital camera. This past thursday I went to the Abbey Lounge with Jasmine to see some mutual friends play some music. They didn't get to play until 11:30 (on a school night!), so we were troopers and got there at around 10, listening to a couple of other bands do their thing. I can't remember the last time I went out so late on a school night. But there we were, two ladies hanging at the Lounge. The Boy (I should probably give him a different anonymous name soon. If he ever were to read this he might get a little offended at being called a boy. He is almost 38, after all) showed up a little later and was good enough to spend a little quality time, which was fun. Here are some pictures of Mike and John (sorry, but I don't know the drummer's name) doing their thing.

And here we have some pictures of my day with the Gillespies. Christina, her Mom Ann and her son Dylan were good enough to invite me to see them today at Little Beach. It's a really relaxing vacation spot where there is literally nothing else to do but exactly what you feel like doing: lying around reading, going for a walk, swimming in the ocean, sitting on the beach, kayaking around the pond. I mean, really, there's nothing else but that. It was so nice of them to invite me, and I was a little shutter bug with the pictures.

some pics from Maine

2007-08-16T18:33:00.001-04:00

I know its been several weeks, but I finally got a thingy that takes the pictures from the little digital storage device in the camera and puts them on my computer. So here are the Maine pictures. Well, really, they're pictures from the ferry on the way over to Vinalhaven. There should be some other pictures coming in from my friend who was staying there.

what the hell am I dreaming?

2007-08-15T08:21:00.000-04:00

I have a queen sized bed and on this bed I have three pillows. Two of them are normal pillows- normal size and normal filling. But the third pillow is this little buckwheat pillow that has seeds in it. It's harder than the other pillows and it goes in between the two normal ones so I can choose to sleep on it when I want to. Usually I end up on that pillow cause it's pretty solid but really comfy. And it's kinda cool (I mean the temperature is cool, although it's cool in the other way too) in the summer and I usually seek out the cool parts of the bed when I'm sleeping.

Here's the thing. For the last several years I've been using this assortment of pillows and it's worked out really well. While I'm sleeping I can decide how soft or not so soft I want my pillow to be. These last two nights have seen a little break in my pillow pattern. I've woken in the middle of the night to my little buckwheat pillow being somewhere else. Normally when this happens I've knocked it off the top of the bed somehow (this doesn't happen often, but from time to time...) but last night and the night before I've woken up in the middle of the night looking for the little pillow.

The night before last I found it still in the pillow section of the bed (at the top) but on the side. The side! It's not a side pillow, it's a middle pillow. I never would have put it there. And then last night I woke up and found it on the other side of the bed, half way down near my stomach. And that surprised me enough that I woke all the way up. I know very well how all my pillows and I had started the evening- the same way we had started for years (years!). And now there's this.

And I keep wondering what I could possibly be dreaming that's impacting this change. It's a little disturbing to me. I mean, sleep is sacred. We don't mess with something that works over here. What the hell?

a little bit of goodness

2007-08-13T23:19:00.000-04:00

So today at work one of our new sites had a grand opening and the new Commissioner (among several other people) were able to come and celebrate with us. People got up, did some speeches. The local mayor was there in addition to some VIP's at the Department, and there was a lot of pressure/expectation about this little event. It was one of the first opportunities the Commissioner had to see the work we've been doing, and it was also one of the first opportunities folks I work with could see if he might support our work under his reign.

I've been kinda stressed about how this would go- I wasn't part of the planning for this particular event, and I therefore had no idea how it would go. But it turns out it went really well. And the Commissioner said he really liked what he saw so far. So I'm feeling a little bit easier about the longevity of my job now. Not that I think it's all roses, but I'm starting to feel like there might be some opportunities for me and my team under this new boss. And that is such a relief that I wanted to dance all the way home. But instead I drove my car home and sang the radio songs at the top of my lungs. I'll celebrate a little bit this weekend.

I just had to tell you.

the label

2007-08-12T08:45:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wish I had an instruction label stuck to some accessible part of my body that would say

For best results douse regularly with affection.
Hugs and kisses required.

Pooh style

2007-08-11T13:43:00.001-04:00

Do you remember when you read winney the pooh when you were a kid? One thing I really liked about it was that the rules for capital letters were a little more flexible. Specifically, you didn't only capitalize a letter when it started a sentence or when it started a personal noun or some such. Capitals were also used when a person felt strongly about a word, and it helped to emphasize a point. You can still see it in original transcripts of very old documents. And I don't know when we stopped doing this, but it was probably right around the time we could type and use bold or italics or something. I think it's a good idea that got thrown out too soon. There have been many times when I don't want to use an exclamation point or the other font options. I want the classic emphasis- the capital letter.

For example:

Eeyore took his tail out of the water, and swished it from side to side.
"As I expected," he said. "Lost all feeling. Numbed it. That's what it's done. Numbed it. Well, as long as nobody minds, I suppose it's all right."
"Poor old Eeyore. I'll dry it for you," said Christopher Robin, and he took out his handkerchief and rubbed it up.
"Thank you, Christopher Robin. You're the only one who seems to understand about tails. They don't think- that's what's the matter with some of these others. They've no imagination. A tail isn't a tail to them, it's just a Little Bit Extra at the back."
"Never mind, Eeyore," said Christopher Robin, rubbing his hardest. "Is that better?"
"It's feeling more like a tail perhaps. It Belongs again, if you know what I mean."

See? The italics AND the capitalization. It lends it's own unique kind of significance, and I think it's time to bring it back.

Here. You try it.

first things first

2007-08-11T13:27:00.001-04:00

So it's come to my attention that there might be some more people reading this than I had thought. Somehow I've heard from several different fronts (Natae, you're not the only one!) that I need to be more diligent about posting. It reminds me of when I used to try to keep a journal when I was little. I would write in it periodically, but in the end it tapered off. Lucky for me I have you lovely people to keep me honest (well, about this anyway).

First things first (I've always loved that phrase), there is not really any new information about the Boy. We're still in wait and see mode; he's still good to hang out with, and there is definitely some good potential. We have to wait and see where it goes. And fortunately there's some time to figure that out.

I'm guessing I'll have a better idea of how things are going in the next week or two. I'll let you guys know just as soon as I have a better idea.

too much going on

2007-08-04T14:15:00.000-04:00

It's been a very full last couple of weeks. And since I've been remiss in keeping this updated as I go I'm finding that I feel a little bit like I'm catching up with an old friend who I haven't talked to in a while. Where to start, you know? Well, maybe I'll just go chronologically. There are three main incidences, so I'll just start with the first.

1. A couple of weeks ago I found out (during a hellishly long week at work) that my boss's boss, my ultimate supervisor, who is very involved with the work that I and my co-workers are doing, was asked by our new commissioner to resign. I don't know exactly how this will impact my work; I don't even know how secure my job is at this point. But it's not just a horrible loss (because it is that, at the very least) to me and the Department. She's been there for just under 20 years and has been a big protector of my small group of people trying to do preventative work, and I don't know what will happen to us now that she's leaving. It's entirely possible that my position will be changed to be something completely different.

And I love this job. You all know that I moved out here to this area from California to Massachusetts for this exact job. I've been fluctuating between shock, sadness, fear and anxiety since I heard the news, and I don't exactly know how it's all going to play out. The Commissioner has given no reason for asking her to leave, fanning a certain amount of uncertainty and concern among the ranks. I think I'll have a little bit of a clue by the end of the month; we're putting out an RFR and he'll have to sign off on it. But until then I'll be in a small state of crisis, wondering if I have to find another job and thinking perhaps I won't find another one that I love quite so much.

2. At the same time I've just started seeing someone. As I've said several times before, I absolutely hate dating. But I met this guy at a party, and I've gone out with him once, talked on the phone with him a couple of times and in general feel that there is a lot of potential here. I'm trying to keep perspective and take things as they come (this is mostly a self-protective technique since I'll flip out if I think about this too much), telling people that we'll see how things go.

But I have to say that it's been a little difficult. Some friends (who shall remain nameless) are secretly planning the wedding, already trying to figure out how our names best fit together and have determined that there will be children in the future. And of course the guy himself has been nothing but good, being very complimentary and healthily enthusiastic about talking and hanging out. I can't remember the last time there were no games played, no hidden agendas, no ulterior motives, at least not yet.

Put all this together and I've been a little bewildered about how this is playing out. This fledgling stage has always struck me as very delicate, so I'm not entirely sure how to go forward- Do I let myself go and just let emotions do what they will? Do I try to be practical and take lessons from relationships gone by to guide what I do (meaning I move forward with cautious optimism)? And since in the end I'll probably combine the two factions, how will I best merge the camps? This has always been the debate, really, and usually results in me getting exhausted by all the mental gymnastics. Strangely, I'm not really doing the mental gymnastics thing, at least not yet. I think I'm already unhinged by the work thing, and/or have gotten better at not thinking about things. Like I said, I'll have to wait and see, just like everyone else.

3. I think with all this other stuff going on, I've been a little spacey. Which resulted most concretely by me, well, messing up. I bumped into a huge SUV on Thursday at a stop sign (going less than 5 miles an hour counts as 'bumping'!) and wrecked the hood of my car. We initially agreed to not involve the insurance because although my car looked like it had met a high brick wall, the SUV had a small dent on the bumper the size of the head of a pen. I hate those things. But then I got a call yesterday with the woman involved saying she had a rattle and took the car in to the dealer, where they found a dent in something. And she had already called her insurance. God, there go my points. It's going to be three years before that gets worked off of my bill.

I still can't believe it. It's been 15 years since anything like this has happened to me, and yet there you go. I had decided a while ago to take yesterday off of work, and as I was driving around yesterday, trying to take care of this business while I also took the day to do some shopping, I realized that maybe I should avoid driving for a while. I was dropping my keys right and left, I was parking horribly (I'm always very good at parking- staying in the lines of any parking spot and usually very close to a curb) and was spilling things regularly. I think I should just stay home for the next couple of days. Or not get involved with any heavy machinery for a while.

The best part of yesterday was when I went to Trader Joe's to do some small grocery shopping- the supplemental kind that usually only involves a basket rather than a cart. I had to get some more shake stuff that I use all the time for breakfast because I was all out. I grabbed four of those canisters, so I can last for a month or so without needing to get more. And when I went to buy them the cash register guy forgot to charge me for 4- only for 1. And these things are $10 each. Usually I'd do my normal do-gooding and mention it, but yesterday I just took the discount and left. I mean, $30 was just what I needed.

I think things will start looking up soon. And I'll keep you posted about the dating thing. Maybe I won't need to sign up at Match.com after all. Uh oh. I think I just jinxed it.

changing it up just a little

2007-07-31T21:07:00.001-04:00

I had to do it. I was getting a little tired of the old look and had to redecorate. Natae, I think this is a lot like yours. It's too bad that there are only a few options, but this is a nice one. And I want to be like you.

I got back from Maine this weekend, and had the most fabulous time. Dori and I stayed with Deb in Vinalhaven- a teeny tiny island off the coast near Rockland. It's about a 4 hour drive from Boston, and I'm waiting for some pictures to come in. But I would strongly recommend the trip for anyone who wants to completely get away. There was barely a gas pump on the island, and I think an ATM came to the island last year. And there were puffins everywhere. You know the birds that are the beneficiaries of the Puffin cereal that is so yummy? All over the place, flying around. We swam in a quarry, took several walks in the woods and saw amazing coastline. So pretty. Hopefully we'll be able to go back soon.

I also finished Harry Potter last weekend. I have to say that I'm relieved to know how it all ends, and can now start the process of re-reading the book so I can better understand what's been going on.

How's everything with you guys?

What can I say? The heat has been killing my inspiration

2007-07-17T23:02:00.000-04:00

So I know it's been a couple of weeks. I'm very sorry that you three dedicated readers have been seeing the same boring blog for all that time. It's just I have had no inspiration. My muse has abandoned me, or something less poetic. I think it's the wet heat we've been having this July. This past Sunday I spent an hour sweating at the gym, came home and took a shower and didn't really dry off until I turned on the air conditioner when I went to sleep that night. I had small reprieves, like when I took the T to get my toes done- the trains have air conditioning- or when I sat in the nail parlor and got my toes done. But that was about it until 11 or so that night. I don't know how people can get anything done when they're all damp all the time. But, really, I do need to apologize for taking so long. So I'm sorry. Now I'm moving on.

This past Sunday I went on my practice date. A practice date is when you're going out with someone without any expectation of there being a love connection, but a possibility of a friend connection. My friend Deb set it up, and she also had me promise to wear a dress (uh) and actually try to enjoy myself (double uh). One thing that will come to no surprise to folks is that I hate dating. Which is why I need to practice.

It turns out the practice date (I'll call him Practice Date guy, or PD) was a perfect faux date. He was very friendly, quite engaging and empathetic (despite the fact that he enjoys himself as a litigating lawyer) and absolutely loves- I mean adores- NPR. Particularly the love of my life's show, This American Life. We must have spent at least 45 minutes talking about TAL and Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me. I think the last time I dorked out so much was when I was talking to Alex about whether Snape was truly evil, or whether Dubledore meant for Snape to kill him (three more days until we know for sure, Alex. Sorry for the spoiler to those of you who didn't know that. But I figure if you don't know this already, you don't really care about the entire series). It also turns out that he's in a quasi relationship with someone, but is really into meeting people for fun and activities (perfectly legitimate, PG-rated activities, thank you very much). He's said he'll add me to his list of activity partners, including to his very social group outling list so I can better meet some of his friends. He also said he'd be happy to help me out with being a male sounding board as I go on my little dating adventures, which is a huge relief. I think I can use all the help I can get in that regard. I mean, guys are really confusing to me. Especially these East Coast guys, who are in effect different from the Left Coast-oriented personalities.

Oh, and one more thing. Did anyone else listen to Wait Wait this weekend? There was a blurb about the "secret to a happy marriage". You'll never guess. It went like this:

The key to a happy marriage is how often the wife is what?

Guess 1. Goes out and socializes
Guess 2. How often the wife... (no the answer is not A, despite the alarming number of men out there saying "Be A! Be A!"
Guess 3. How often she agrees with him?
Answer- Exactly wrong.
Guess 4. How often he agrees with her?

Yes! How often she get her way. And she doesn't have to just get her way. The husband has to quickly, intently and enthusiastically give in to her. "Further proof that there is a god". Amen.

playing catchup

2007-07-04T13:00:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking I should probably catch up on the goings on before another very busy weekend comes along and I get too far behind. I know it's only Wednesday, but it's the 4th and we have the day off. And I took tomorrow and Friday off, so I'm feeling like this is another weekend.

Last week was fabulous. It was almost like work was what happened between real life happening. Usually it's the opposite. Monday was normal, but Tuesday I got to hang out with Tori and Moira and little Vincent. We were waiting for Tori's niece to get into town, so we hung out for several hours, walking along the Charles and catching up. So nice to just hang out with people and not feel like there's a time limit or an end to the festivities. We were at the Cambridgeside Galleria, so when we were almost done hanging out we perused some stores. I decided that the not-so-new style of shirts that are kind of tight on top but flowing under the waistline might actually be more comfortable that almost any other shirt I've yet seen and probably quite flattering. I decided that I should get some with my next non-rent paycheck.

Wednesday was hanging with the Brandeis ladies- always a good time (and good food!) with them. Part of the fun of the Brandeis ladies is that as a group we either love to cook or love to eat or some combination of the two. The menu at these gatherings is always interesting and yummy. Since it was so hot we had a nice big salmon salad (Tori, I know you might not like this, but it was quite good), several different kinds of drinks (two people were in charge of drinks this time) three different kinds of spreads including edamame spread (so good) and a da da version of strawberry shortcake. It looks like we might be able to go to the Boston harbor islands sometime soon, which would be fun. I haven't seen them yet.

Thursday was Tori's birthday (happy birthday, Tori!). Below is a picture of all of us celebrating her Greatness. We went out to dinner at Central Kitchen. It seems to be one of THE places to be, so we were feeling a little more cool and hip than normal.

Friday was just Friday. A day of rest.

And then on Saturday I went to Newport, RI with Tori and her niece. I guess it was a Tori-rich week, which is always a treat. We went on two mansion tours- again something I haven't done yet. We saw the Breakers, which is what everyone sees if they do a mansion tour. It was the "house" of one arm of the Vanderbilt's at the turn of the (last) century and it was amazingly large, lavish and somewhat overwhelming. We've all heard the "society stories" and saw movies and what not, but this really put it into perspective. We also saw Isaac Bell's house. It was a little more what they called Middle Class, but it was very impressive. This was more of a tour of early American architecture, but we spent over an hour in this house and I still felt like I could stay there for much longer. It was very beautiful, too, and the level of details the architect created was so amazing.

Then on Sunday, again, a day of rest. Sigh. And now after two days of work I am having a weekend. It's just perfect. I've been doing laundry, finishing some cd mixes I've been working on, and generally being a lazy bum. Except for the gym going. And the walks with Deb. They've been so wonderful. But more on that later.

Today I'm meeting Tori and some folks down at the Esplanade. Folks really do know how to celebrate the 4th here in Boston. I swear, it's like democracy was invented here or something. Something about being the home of the American Revolution. All that kind of thing.

As promised, here is a picture of Tori's bday dinner. Some folks had to leave early, so we're not really all there. No pun intended.

the gym and DPS

2007-07-01T20:55:00.001-04:00

Most of you know that I try to go to the gym fairly regularly. This past week has not been the prime example of this, but I do really like going to the gym. It has all this equipment, classes, even a sauna and hot tub (but I don't really use those all that much). And today was my day back at the gym. I was feeling so tired and sluggish this morning that I knew it was past time; one thing people don't tell you is that if you get into the habit of regular exercise it's addictive and you feel the effects pretty quickly if you ever stop going.

Anyway, one of the reasons I love this gym is that it's kind of a lazy man's gym. Many of the cardio machines have these individual tv's you can watch (like on Jet Blue) so you can watch your favorite shows. They even have two movie channels, which is always a lot of fun. Often I will go to the gym at around 8 pm so I can watch the prime time line up- thursday nights are my favorite nights to just go and be on those machines. There was one time I went and they were showing Tootsie. There was this line of women lined up at the windows watching it, and we were all laughing out loud together at the same parts... It's quite fun, really.

Well one of the drawbacks to this scenario is that there are some times when what I'm watching is quite sad while huffing and puffing on the cardio machine. And I of course cry at sad parts of tv shows and movies, and then I find myself trying to breath and cry at the same time while working out. Which it turns out is not all that easy to do. There have been several times in these past months where I'm watching Grey's Anatomy and have tears streaming down my face. Or watching Billy Elliot. Or Thelma and Louise. Or that one part in Dream Girls- that one had me sobbing on the damn treadmill. God, you try to work out while sobbing. It's actually quite difficult.

So today I go to the gym, wondering what the movies are going to be. And they're showing Enemy of the State and Dead Poets Society. I had to laugh because Dead Poets Society is my original tear jerker. It's the first movie I remember crying at. I was with Becky and Christina (and I think Mandy) and riding up in the elevator to my car, crying- the hickuping kind. And I knew I was a gonner. I remember they showed this movie at the gym years ago and I popped onto the machine just after Neil had died and Mr. Keating had gotten fired and the boys had to confess that Keating was to blame for Neil's death- it was literally the last 10 minutes. Without fail just as soon as whatshisface Ethan Hawke's character stands on the desk and says "oh Captain my Captain" I started to cry. Then the other guys get up on their desks and there's that picture where you can see some of the boys on their desks and they're the ones whose lives were changed by having this class and by meeting this influential person. There was nothing for it. That's always the part that gets me- I didn't need anything else.

This time I got there and there was 50 minutes left in the show. I thought it would be worse with more time to get into the characters and become absorbed in the story, so I just figured I'd let myself go and have fun with it. It turned out, tho, that I didn't really cry. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I kept thinking about how young everyone looked (and there was that guy who played Neil who is now on House. I don't think I've seen him in all that much). Or maybe I was expecting it too much- all the other times I cried were completely unexpected. Or I'm getting older and more cynical. But only a couple of tears trickled down. Nothing much by my standards really.

Then I went and got a burrito at Anna's. As payback for going to the gym for two hours. It's the weekend- I'll be better at the healthy eating during the week.

duh

2007-06-23T10:34:00.000-04:00

This past week I've been fighting off viruses on my computer, which has made me not want to have my computer on at all. I thought I had finally triumphed over the malware, greyware and spyware when other pop-ups and warnings started up again. Not as bad as before, but still. So here I am, posting, feeling contaminated and, well, virulent. But I really want to tell you about a "duh" moment I had earlier this week. So here I am.

On Monday I took my car into the shop to get an oil change and check-up. This means looking over the tubes and belts, changing the various fluids, filters, and plugs. When I got in the car on Tuesday morning to go to work I turned on the radio and couldn't find any of my stations. They'd all been reset, and I couldn't understand what had happened. Did my mechanics just go through and set them on random stations for kicks? Were they mad that I didn't let them change my spark plugs yet? What the hell? This has to be what mechanics do as a practical joke.

I drove the 30 minutes into work trying to find all my stations and put them in somewhat similar order on my radio, and thinking about what I would tell my mechanics when I called them to complain. I had a little speech prepared and was all set to make the call when I remembered that as part of the check up they had changed my car battery. Which had reset my radio stations.

And then I felt a little dumb, followed immediately by grateful that I had waited to call my mechanic. The last thing I needed was to feel like this stupid hysterical woman who doesn't know mechanics well enough to know what happens when a car battery gets changed. I hate that. I need at least a facade of competence when I deal with my mechanics. Just on principle.

barriers to health

2007-06-17T11:34:00.001-04:00

I've been putting together a list of things that keep me from being healthy lately (mental or physical). Here's a short sample.

1. There's a yoga class at my gym that I've been wanting to take but it's at 8:30 on Sunday mornings. I've thought I could set my alarm and get there in time, but who wants to set their alarm on Sunday morning? Do I look like the kind of person that would normally be up at the crack of dawn on the weekend? Bastards. The other yoga classes are during the week at lunch time or on evenings I can't make it. Hmph.

2. I miss the pieces of paper that go on the toilette seats. They don't exist here in New England and I'm always conflicted about the best way to handle going to the bathroom. How can a person relax on a public toilette if there's no paper? I know there are other options: hovering, putting a string of toilette paper down, wiping the seat, etc. But it kind of boggles my mind. Is it really so hard to have that paper in a bathroom stall? Is it a by-product of a more libertarian mindset over here, or does California have more militant public health officials? I just want the paper.

3. There are people who drive 55 in the car pool lane. No, this is not specific to living here, but in the last week I've been stuck behind slow people at least three times. In one week. Where did they come from, and why can't they get out of my way when I'm trying to get somewhere? Jeesh. All these cars were going so slowly that I was tailgating before I even knew it. Since tailgating is against my religion, I got irritated, and then I started yelling at the car in front of me, waiving my arms about and generally venting my road rage in verbal form where it will do the least amount of damage (probably). And two out of three people (I think) saw the arm waiving and either sped up or changed lanes as soon as they could. Which means to me that it was an effective communication technique between drivers.

4. More ice cream places would be nice.

5. I like wearing sandals in the summer, but I now have three mosquito bites on my feet, which is very irritating. Two of my toes- my toes!- are itchy. And, no, before you say it, it's not athlete's foot or anything like that. They're bites. And they're making me cranky.

6. This must be skunk season because I've been seeing them and smelling them all over the place. Last week I was woken out of a deep sleep by the ripe smell of skunk outside my window. How nice for me. And last night I saw one on the way home, jogging across the street, trying to get hit by a car. They're everywhere, which really sucks.

I know I had more, but I can't remember what they are right now. Do you guys have any barriers?

me and my clothes

2007-06-16T17:22:00.000-04:00

I thought you'd be interested to know that I've already changed my clothes four times today and it's not even time to get dressed for the birthday party celebration taking place at some bar I haven't found on Google maps yet.

I got dressed this morning to go to the store first thing (wanted to try to beat the crowds at TJ's). Then I came home and cleaned house, which required a different I-don't-really-care-if-these-clothes-get-ruined ensemble. After that I wanted to lay outside and soak in some sun, and I wasn't going to wear a bathing suit but I did want to be somewhat cognizant of my already established farmer tan. Why make it worse? And now I'm about to go to the gym. Needing, of course, an almost complete change of wardrobe due to the fact that it's summer and my pores are in very good working order (aka I sweat like a... well... a lot).

Writing all this out reminds me of a story from when I was a kid. I was visiting my grandparents who lived in Utah and my brother and I had been playing outside for most of the day. I don't remember why but I had changed clothes a lot that day, too, probably because we were about to have one of our many water balloon fights with the neighbor kids and we had just come back from a walk in the fields behind the house. These two activities needed two very different outfits- one needing long pants to avoid the bugs especially the ticks I always thought were everywhere, and the other needed very little clothing to reduce the drippage. I thought I was being very considerate, I'm sure. And then there's the changing between morning coolness and afternoon heat, etc. I probably went through several different changes for all kinds of reasons.

One thing to mention, too, is that these grandparents were a tad more strict than my brother and I were used to at home. They frequently couldn't understand how we thought we could get away with all of our shenanigans, and expected us to be able to go play quietly outside or play quietly inside and generally stay out of trouble. As far as we were concerned, going from LA to the small town in Southern Utah was an extraordinary culture shock most of the time. We often had no idea how to entertain ourselves since, as far as we could see, there was almost nothing there to do.

Anyway, I was pretty young- maybe 8 or 9 - and I was just running out of the house to go play water balloons, when my grandmother yelled after me to stop changing clothes all the time since she was the one who had to wash them and I was getting all the clothes I brought dirty in one day. I was surprised that she would want to wash something I had only worn for a very little while. I didn't think I had gotten the clothes all that dirty and hadn't intended for her to have to wash them. So I replied (I'm pretty sure I was sincerely trying to be helpful) that the clothes washing thing sounded like her problem. And turned around and went outside.

Sheesh. Sometimes I wonder how I ever survived childhood.

My mom told me about this story several years ago, which brought it all back. And I honestly can't believe I would say something so disrespectful to my grandmother. I can't imagine talking back to her- I was afraid of her and my grandfather. So when my mom told me about this I had to ask her why I said that. She said that I was in a phase where I was into defining people's problems for them, and then she laughed. As if my being a snot was- at least in retrospect- a little funny. Personally, I can't believe people ever thought I was cute when I was a kid. I sound pretty irritating to me.

For your entertainment I'm including a picture of me from when I was about 8 or 9. Sorry for the bad quality, but you can still tell that my fashion sense was already highly developed by this age. I particularly like the training wheels.

meme me

2007-06-12T17:28:00.000-04:00

My friend Dori has meme'd me. I hadn't heard of this before (being new to this entire blogging thing) so I looked it up on the urban dictionary. And here's what it said:

meme (noun)

1. an idea, belief or belief system, or pattern of behavior that spreads throughout a culture either vertically by cultural inheritance (as by parents to children) or horizontally by cultural acquisition (as by peers, information media, and entertainment media)

2. a pervasive thought or thought pattern that replicates itself via cultural means; a parasitic code, a virus of the mind especially contagious to children and the impressionable

4. in blogspeak, an idea that is spread from blog to blog

5. an internet information generator, especially of random or contentless information

(I skipped 3 because I just didn't think it was as interesting.)

Well, so this meme tags me to write 8 quirks or habits about myself, and then pass it on to some lovelies whose blogs I enjoy. Ok. Well. Here you go.

1. As you might have gathered, I love making lists of things. Not so that I can count something but so that I can item something out and explore it. It helps me feel organized and sane. There have been a couple of times at work when I have been taking notes and I organized them in outline form, which spawned a little bit of discussion among my social service counterparts as this seems to be somewhat unusual. Making lists of things includes a list of things to do or to buy at the store or something like that. Crossing things off is so satisfying. But I don't know how quirky that part is.

2. In the same vein of itemizing/catergorizing is that I love to look at colors, especially the different kinds of white that exist. Yes, white, as in the color. Because if you look at it, white is never really white. It's just a light version of some color, and it's a little bit of a challenge to see what brand of white is there. My favorite kind of white is a peachy orangey kind of white. I don't know why. But there it is. Maybe because my two favorite colors (I mean non-white colors) are blood red and a burnt yellow, and you put them together and you get a peachy orange color.

3. I sometimes think in terms of analogies and metaphors. Most of you who have heard me describe something already know this, since I might use some completely random thing to describe a situation or flavor or person. Maybe most people do this to a certain degree, but I still think its quirky/amusing. At least, it amuses me.

4. There are times I can be quite literal. I used to have a housemate who called me Amelia Badelia, who was a character in a children's book who, well, took things very literally.

5. I hate hearing about the details of any kind of medical operation, particularly dental procedures. I don't want to hear more than the basic fact that someone got a cleaning. No detail beyond what the doctor said. One day last week a person at work was talking to someone at the next desk over about this horrible root canal she had gotten and all the subsequent problems she had with her teeth and the corresponding appointments. Ugh. How can a person work with all those visuals going on?

6. I have a hard time throwing something away if it's been given to me. There was one year not all that long ago when every gift I received that year seemed to be a stuffed animal. I loved stuffed animals when I was little but I got rid of most of them when I went to college. Who would give a stuffed animal to an adult? But even if I barely knew the person, I had the damned stuffed animal s/he gave me for years afterwards. And old stained shirt that had long out worn its welcome. I'll keep it, regardless of how well I knew the person or if it's something I would choose for myself. If it's given to me I'll keep it and (usually) like it. If I'm not friends with the person anymore (usually this is post breakup) I'll put all the things I ever received from that person in a box that goes into a corner for a long time- usually until I'm cleaning things out when I'm moving across the country or something.

7. I wear a toe ring that I bought at Venice beach thirteen years ago.

8. I really like listening to the words of songs. Not just the melody but the words, memorizing the pattern and the poetry, how they all combine together to make a complete description of something. Love it.

Whew. I didn't think I could come up with 8 things. This post has gone on long enough. But before I go, I would love to hear from Natae and Elyse. I say it's your turns to give us 8 quirky bits about you. I can't wait.

weekend in brief

2007-06-10T21:33:00.000-04:00

This has been a really nice weekend. I got to relax a lot (which means I didn't exactly get to the laundry) and I managed to hang out with people a lot too. The best combination. Saturday night I got to go back to Cuchi Cuchi for mz. H's going away celebration. She's going to be in Portland now, which is good for her but sad for us. But I got to see her mom and grandmom (both very sweet, supportive ladies) get just a little tipsy. And Heather got a congratulations song from the waitstaff and then blew out a candle while she was wearing the smancy garland. Doesn't she look happy?

But this restaurant is now my favorite place for celebrating (again, fabulous cocktails and food. When any of you guys come to visit we will definitely go there). Then we went to a nice little bar that had some fun r&b/soul music. A very nice way to say bon voyage. I hope she had a good time, too.

And then today I helped a good friend of mine paint her living and dinning room- and managed to get paint on more body parts than were visible. I don't know how that happens. Afterwards I got to hang out with one member of my match.com subcommittee, who is helping me with my profile. She had some really good advice. Natae, I'll send you my most recent draft of the profile tomorrow.

It's been recommended that I get a focus group of guys to review my profile, and get some feedback. Which makes sense. Alex, you game to help review it? I know it's been a while since you've been on the dating scene, and now you're married and all, so you might be a little out of touch with what the single guys are looking for. But I still think you might have a good perspective. What do you think?

I got to go to the gym for a while, which is usually pretty good for keeping me happy. And then I came home, read some magazines and listened to some Iron and Wine while I watched the sun go down. Here's a song that I think is fabulous- it's called Promising Light. Again, if you get the chance you should hear it.

What was your weekend like?

***

Time and all you gave
I was the jerk who preferred the sea
To tussling in the waves
Tugging your skirt, singing please, please, please

But now I see love
Tracked on the floor where you walked outside
Now I see love
Looking for you in this other girl's eyes

Time and all you took
Only my freedom to fuck the whole world
Promising not to look
Promising light on the sidewalk girls

But now I see love
There in your car where I said those things
Now I see love
Tugging your skirt, singing please, please, please

Time and all you gave
There on your cross that I never saw
Well beyond the waves
Dunking my head when I heard you call

But now I see love
There in the sea where you pinched my leg
Now I see love
There on your side of my empty bed

floating down the river

2007-06-07T22:31:00.000-04:00

First of all, I want to thank Alex for joining us in the posting section. I was laughing for a good five minutes after I read some of your posts. But you must stop talking about you and Becky and those things you do. Just stop, please.

Second, sorry to take so long with the post (Natae, I know you've been counting on these to get you through coffee). I've been in heavy denial. I haven't yet put my profile up on match.com yet and I have barely been doing these posts. Can I just go Rainman for a little longer? I keep thinking about that AA-ism 'Denial's not just a river in Egypt'. It makes more sense if you say it out loud.

Instead of talking about trying to hop back on the dating horse I'd much rather talk about a guilty pleasure: tv watching. Especially thursday night tv. I Love watching Men in Trees (I know I've already mentioned this). I mean love it. Blatant plot lines, appealing, beautiful guys wearing few shirts, it's a beautiful dish of mind candy. At the same time, Aaron Sorkin won me over with West Wing. It was the perfect combination of humor, intelligence and a strong civic duty that I have felt for so long has been lacking in this world. Or maybe in my general political universe. And you know Aaron Sorkin is doing that show Studio 60 blah blah blah, and I was so excited. I mean, it's still intelligent and political and about humor, and I'd watch it on principle but I actually really enjoy the show. I'm mentally stimulated by a tv show, a very rare occurrence, and I'm such a fan.

Well, the point is now the two shows are duking it out on Thursday nights- same time, different channels. Head to head. I can't believe I have to choose between mind candy and mind food. Bastards. I know I'll have to figure out another way. There must be another way.

Now, back to our original programming. I promise- promise- I'll have more to say about this match.com thing. This weekend I'll finish my profile, finish my laundry and clean my room. Good god I can't wait for the weekend.

camera phone pic

2007-05-31T19:25:00.000-04:00

I was just playing around with my camera phone and not only took a good blurry picture of me, but realized I can actually send it to my email. Sometimes it takes me a while to catch on to technology.

And I thought I'd share. Don't you think the blur is another, underused way to air brush?

ok already

2007-05-31T17:43:00.000-04:00

I recently signed up on Match.com. There are a couple of reasons for this-

1. It's spring and it seems to be the thing to do in the spring

2. I need a better way to meet people

3. I should get over this hatred I have for dating and this seems to be a really good way of going about it

Also a good friend of mine actually sat me down (more or less) and told me that if I really want to grow more as a person I kind of need to have a partner to take me to the next level. And she has a good point. So she and another friend have agreed to be a part of my dating sub-committee. They're helping me write a 'profile' that is fetching and they will be a support in this little experiment of mine. These are the primary responsibilities of this sub-committee. One thing I've realized is that I really shouldn't write my own profile. I don't think I can describe myself in the best light- considering I know far too much about me to be neutral enough to be overly optimistic. And I sincerely do hate dating, which tends to come out in my profile. Which makes me think of the self-fulfilling prophecy syndrome.

In anycase, I thought you all might be interested to know that very soon I will be one of the many people plying themselves to strangers on the internet. Which, now that I think about it, is almost what I'm doing here. How fun for me.

One other thing. My friend also said I might need to go out on a practice date (one where there's really no pressure or expectations beyond meeting someone for coffee or something) since I'm still very opposed to the idea of mass dating. She knows of someone who just got out of a relationship, and who could also use a practice date or two before he's ready to dive into the dating pool. Being set up on this practice date really appeals to me. I get to have all the fun of meeting someone without any of the expectation of something serious possibly happening. Not that the serious part isn't fun. It's the hoping that something serious might happen that isn't fun. So this practice date could be perfect, really.

I'll keep y'all posted on my progress.

Before I go, I wanted to draw attention to some new additions to my "my people" section of my blog. MattnEllen are over there, blogging in from Indonesia. They moved at the beginning of the month to do some do-gooding over there (Matt, please don't ask me to explain your job here. I would need more time and brain power than I have access to right now) and will be gone for a couple of years.

Also look for little Vincent over there, representing. He's getting so big. Hello, little Vincent!

to tide you over

2007-05-30T08:56:00.000-04:00

Well, I don't really have much time. But I know I haven't been posting much lately and I wanted to give you guys who do read this something to do while I'm away at work today. I found this list of top 10 outrageous firsts in tv, and I thought it was pretty funny. I know- it's stealing from someone else's blog. But it really is something I wish I had here, and would love to hear your responses to it.

Just click here and give yourself about 10 minutes to read through it. You might want to ignore the other lists that are posted- unless you're feeling particularly jr. high today.

joie de vie

2007-05-29T22:20:00.000-04:00

I went to Montreal this past weekend with some friends and had the most fabulous time. We stayed at this nice b&b in the Latin quarter and walked over town on Saturday and most of Sunday.

Here's a list of just a few of the things we did:

- we took a boat trip around the bay

- visited five different sections of town

- had fabulous food

- spent far too much money because of the exchange rate (note how I don't really take responsibility)

-shopped in adorable little shops

- saw the Body Works exhibit (anatomy gone mad- if you haven't seen it you really should)

- visited the Ben and Jerry's factory (in Burlington, VT. We were on the way back from Montreal but it definitely counts)

- relaxed in the sun

- ate at a restaurant that is very close to my version of heaven (click here to go to their website)

- got my ass kicked at hearts (damn you Helene!)

- butchered the French language countless times

- got soaked in a downpour

- happened upon a kind of desert festival with all kinds of free samples

- fell in love with a pharmacy- it has everything a person could want and everything a person didn't know they wanted

- saw four or five different bachelorette parties in the space of two hours

- visited a bio-dome and saw these really cute little monkeys clean each other (We saw a lot of other animals, but the monkeys were the most fascinating)

- saw a statue of the Blessed Virgin who is facing the sea to "welcome the sea men coming into the harbor" - I kid you not. The captain of the tour boat told us so

- saw countless (I did forget to count, but there were quite a lot) of lilac bushes/shrubs/trees of all different colors

- got another name (just call me Suzette Bonaparte)

I think I've found my latest favorite town; it's definitely in my top 5. Even if I can't understand what any one's saying. I can't find any pictures on the web that do it justice, but I'll post some pictures just as soon as I get some.

the perks

2007-05-21T18:54:00.000-04:00

I've been talking to several different people lately about relationships. Maybe it's because I recently got back from the fantabulous wedding of Alex and Becky, or maybe it's just the normal standard conversation for lots of my friends, but we've been talking about all the different parts of relationships and what makes them work or not work. I usually feel a little self-conscious about giving advice about relationships (not that it stops me) since I'm definitely not a poster child for successful ones.

But I find I have plenty to say on the topic, and am increasingly aware that maybe I've been far too happy being single. I mean, I get to do what I want without checking in with anyone about how I want to spend my time, I can do the dishes whenever I want to (this could also be a bad thing), I can do the laundry whenever I want (again, maybe a bad thing), and can be just as productive in the evening as I want to be. I usually like being single more than I like being in a relationship, which might be one of the reasons why I've not been caught yet. I like feeling competent enough to take care of myself, and I'm generally independent and somewhat stubborn.

But there are things I miss. Four things, to be exact, that I just can't do for myself.

1. The most obvious first thing is, well, sex. It's just not something a person always wants to do for themselves.

2. It's a pain in the ass to cook for one person. I love to cook. And I love following the recipe and getting a yummy concoction in the end that people can enjoy. However, by the time I've spent a significant amount of time with the ingredients they're less exciting. But seeing other people enjoy the food is always so fun. And there are no onions that are one serving (I finally discovered scallions to be the best single serving items in the vegetable isle). It's just a whole different kind of food shopping.

And being cooked for is fun, too.

3. I would love to have some help lifting the heavy objects. I usually miss having some one who is under some sort of obligation to help out when I'm lugging the air conditioner to or from the basement, or when I'm shoveling snow from around my car after a snow storm. I'm not saying I expect someone to do all this heavy lifting for me, I would just appreciate some assistance now and again.

4. Finally, there's the hug. This is a special kind of hug that only comes in some relationships. It's the hug you get when you're having a bad day, you're dragging yourself home and there's someone there who will give you a hug until you feel better. That hug just can't be beat and, when it's done right, makes everything ok for just a little while. And you don't always need to have it, but it's good to know it's there if needed. I'd actually sacrifice some of the things I love about being single for that hug.

song of the day

2007-05-18T20:03:00.000-04:00

I don't know why, but I've been jonesing on M. Ward today. Before today I had only heard one song of his on a compilation cd I have, but I really like his voice. I found an amazing version of David Bowie's Lets Dance on one of his cd's (if you're wanting to know, it's on Transfiguration of Vincent). If you can, I'd strongly recommend you check it out. I wish I knew of a way to stream it on to this blog, but I'm just not that savvy.

But the song I really like I actually heard on a commercial and tracked it down (it's the first time I've seen a song on tv and had to track it down, and I'm a little embarrassed to be so taken with anything on a commercial so I'm not going to tell you which commercial it came from. No free ads here). The song's called Here Comes the Sun Again. The words are below, but it's the combination of the words, the melody and his voice that do it for me. You can't have the one side of him. It's just not fair.

***

Kingdoms and queens they all bow down to you
Ranches and ranch hands are bowing too
And I’m taking off my straw hat for you, singing
Here comes the sun again

And the leaves on the trees they all call out your name,
Chrome on the freight line shines the same,
And the stars in their cars roll their tops down for you, singing
Here comes the sun again

Oh but if you're gonna stay,
Show some mercy today
Blow that breeze on my face

Snow banks and drifts down the hillside for you
Slides inside sandy river before the day is through
And before evening falls I may find myself there too, singing
Here comes the sun again,
Here comes the sun again...

A question for you guys

2007-05-17T20:24:00.001-04:00

So here's a delima.

Let's say you have limited funds, it looks like your fridge is on the verge of calling it quits and it's and you're going to need new tires soon (within the next three thousand miles).

Some things to consider:

eating out is expensive when you do it all the time (meaning the longer it takes to get the fridge the less money there is to spend on anything else
neither the fridge nor the freezer appear to be doing either of their jobs adequately- things are about to go down hill very fast
it takes you 6 to 8 weeks to go three thousand miles
it's spring going into summer in the greater Boston area, which means that there is oh so much rain and skid potential
getting both of these within three months of each other could mean you will be living off of top ramin for a while (it's not quite that bad, but why not make it interesting)

What do you get first? The fridge or the tires?

Huh?

2007-05-17T19:57:00.000-04:00

Ok, it's 8pm on Thursday and I'm trying to decide what to do for the next 60 minutes until Grey's Anatomy comes on. Cause that's the best part of Thursday night. And I'm channel surfing, just thinking about turning the tv off and finding something else to do when what do I hear? "Peter Blah Blah, come on down!" Is this really The Price is Right during prime time on channel 4? There's Bob Barker, but it's a spoof or something. It has to be.

And, speaking of Thursday night tv, whatever happened to Men in Trees? That was a show that had very high quality eye candy for straight women. And gay men. When will it come back?

I can tell I'm having a high quality Thursday night.

This just in- Peter blah blah won three cars, and one's a conviertible. Go Peter go. I feel like I'm home sick on a school day and have endless hours in front of the tv to keep me company. Nothing like the Price is Right to bring back the nostalgia.

By the way, it looks like Bob is having a special. What fun. I think I'll go to the gym.

the cd

2007-05-16T19:42:00.001-04:00

So you know how it's the latest thing to give out cd's as a party favor at weddings? I'm not sure how much that happens here in the greater Boston area, but it's been the thing to do in California for quite a while. And of course Becky and Alex burned a cd for their party favor- they're music fans and have really good taste in music.

There's only one thing. Becky and Alex's cd has just about 21 songs on it and only 10 of them are in English. The bulk of the other-languaged songs are sung in Spanish, one or two is in French and did I hear one in Arabic?- or was that one in Spanish, too? Some of the songs are instrumentals, but the rest I can't sing along to (I don't mind humming along with the instrumentals). And while I know I shouldn't be so English-centric, it makes me just a little sad to listen to a cd and not be able to sing along to most of the songs.

Becky and Alex, if you read this know that I really do appreciate all the time and energy you put into making it. I promise I will listen to the cd thousands of times, trying to remember my two years of high school spanish and learn the love poetry that's in all those songs. And of course it's not about me at all. I'm just saying. Humming doesn't always do it for me, you know?

bathing in the mud

2007-05-15T18:47:00.000-04:00

Mud bathing. I know it's not for everyone, but it's just the thing for me. Last Wednesday for Becky's bachelorette/spa/pre-wedding/bff celebration we went to Calistoga located smack dab in the middle of the Napa Valley. So for reference, "we" would be Becky's VIP ladies and there were about 7 of us altogether. Two of us brought a husband and a son each, one was five months along on her own way to motherness, and the rest of us were in various stages of singlehood. Becky being in the last stage of singlehood I suppose.

Just so you know, Calistoga is almost two hours north of Berkeley and you have to drive through the beautiful northern California countryside, through the vineyards, until you get into the hills of Napa. Here are some pictures I found from the internet that give a suggestion of how it is to be there. So gorgeous.

And then, we went into Calistoga and stayed at this resort Indian Springs. It's got this huge natural hot water spring swimming pool and these mudbaths and all the other spa trimmings: facials, massages, wraps- anything you can think of. I don't usually frequent the spas, but when I do, man, I have a good time there. I got a mudbath and a massage, and I sure did come out of there relaxed. Here's some pictures from mudbaths and Indian Springs (again, I don't have a digital camera yet, so I'm grabbing these from the web). Or you could just click on this link to look at their website. That would give you an idea, too. Just don't look at the prices. Ugh.

We stayed in this gorgeous cottage with three bedrooms, two dining rooms, a huge living room and a deck. And, I have to mention this, the TV's were only in the bedrooms. Each bedroom had it's own TV, but they weren't in the public rooms, which is brilliant. Who would go to a spa with a huge cottage of friends just to watch TV together in the living rooms? I mean really.

And the real reason to mention the TV's is that at one point during the bachelorette party at around 2am there were five of us crammed into one of the larger bedrooms to gather around one such TV to watch educational porn. What could educational porn be, you ask? Well, an example could be an instructional video on how to do something... sexual... with different ... suggestions and what not. Becky asked for this, probably in the hopes of giving Alex something he won't soon forget on their wedding night. Of course, the last thing I want to do is visualize anything those two would be doing in the bedroom- they're like a brother and sister to me regardless of what they are to each other. Double ugh. In the end we all agreed we didn't really learn anything new. But I suppose it's always good to get confirmation.

Do you smell that?

2007-05-15T18:39:00.000-04:00

So is it bad that my house smells faintly like gas? Right now the ceiling fans are dispersing the smell pretty well, but maybe I should call the gas people and have them check it out.

I know. It's bad. I'll call them.

Home sweet home

2007-05-15T17:29:00.000-04:00

Wow, I've been lagging on the posts. I'm still recovering from my California trip- but more on that in the next post. I'll give some detail about the activities (hanging in Santa Cruz, mud bathing in Calistoga and seeing old friends in Berkeley) later, since it'll take longer than I have. Besides, I don't have any pictures yet- and what's a story without pictures.

But I did want to comment on the coming home. I got home kinda late on Sunday and took the day off yesterday to acclimate back to this coast. I was really happy to get out and run around a little bit, and was struck by the sheer force of nature that's happening. I'm gone for a week and suddenly the trees all have leaves, the lilacs are blooming and it's like winter never even happened. Amazing.

Then I cantered over to my car and saw the impact of nature on my white car that I had stupidly left under a tree. It was covered with tree and bird droppings. Yick. So instead of rushing to the gym I rushed to the car wash and spent almost $10 in that self-wash section scrubbing the bejeezus out of that car. Stupid nature.

keep California weird

2007-05-08T14:37:00.000-04:00

So I spent the weekend in LA with the family, getting some good quality time in. It was a blast seeing Elyse and Dad and Paula; particularly the traditional trip to Islands (yumm!).

I flew up to Oakland yesterday and rented my car (a Chrysler Seabring, of all things. A boat of a car that is actually quite fun to drive) and saw two ladies who made my heart glow. One woman had a pink died Mohawk, a pink floral shirt, day-glo yellow shorts and pink converse. Her friend was dressed from head to toe in goth black, with dyed hair the color of raspberry juice. She had on three-inch platform boots and was decked out with a long black jacket and the heavy black eye liner. And I looked at them and thought about how great it is to be back in California. No one was really staring at them, making them feel uncomfortable, and they seemed so at home and happy. This is one of the things I really miss about living here. People can act like as much of a freak as they want, and it's not all that couth to be all judging them on it.

As I was driving over highway 17 yesterday to visit my mom and brother in Santa Cruz, the radio was playing that Joni Mitchel song, California, and I just got so happy. The highway's lined with trees, redwoods popping out here and there, the smell of the ocean mixing with the smell of cars and firewood. And as I went along the curves it's like I was breathing in the tie-dye and corduroy, the sage and pine smells, the hippies and the feminists. This sounds really cheesy, I know. I've been reading some drama-filled novels and the language is sticky I guess. But my point is I know I miss so many of the great things here- the people and the plants/tree and the laid back culture and the beautiful landscapes, and at the same time I so love my life in Boston. I guess I get to have both places, huh.

my hairdresser is hot

2007-05-03T17:27:00.000-04:00

This weekend I came down with a cold and barely had any energy to get off my couch. It seemed like my head was full of slushiness, and that it had turned into some kind of manufacturing plant for all kinds of ummm slush. I didn't have the where with all to do anything except catch up on Entourage and the last season of West Wing (my dvd's finally came in). But I did manage to leave the house for two very important reasons:

1) on Saturday I drove to Wrentham and got some shoes for Becky and Alex's wedding. It turns out I probably will use some other shoes that I have but I decided that I'll use these in a heart beat as this summer's brown sandals . They are a little too informal for the wedding dress. I was initially conflicted about wearing shoes I already have and then thought I already bought a dress, a necklace and some ear rings. I draw the line at getting new shoes. I was planning on getting my hair cut before the wedding, thus adding another expense, and I think Becky and Alex won't care if I wear shoes that I've worn at the last three weddings I've been to. And checking in with Becky last night I confirmed that it's true- they don't care.

2) on Sunday I got my hair done by my all-time favorite hairdresser. Last time I got it cut Natae was there and commented that I looked like her mom, meaning her mom when she was young and hot. Instead of now when her mom is not as young and still hot. And Alfred (my hairdresser) immediately said that if I looked like a mom, then I'd definitely be a milf. I don't think I've ever been so pleased to be objectified in my life.

Some things to know about Alfred is that he's a hot, he's 50 something passing for 30 something, been cutting hair for 25 years, is straight and married with kids. And he loves to cut hair and is a very sweet guy.

So this weekend I was feeling sick and down and went to get my hair cut with Alfred, and I loved it. He gave me a great cut and managed a stream of sincere-sounding complements that made me leave feeling absolutely fabulous. I left still feeling quite cold-stricken but very good. Let's hear it for Alfred.

more springing

2007-04-29T11:03:00.000-04:00

I think the word I was trying to remember was "potential energy" or something like that.

It's like that first picture of Hobbes, right before he pounces. I guess with that analogy the rest of the strip would be summer. Seems about right.

leave already

2007-04-27T09:18:00.000-04:00

It's here. Today's the day that Natae is leaving us for Nashvegas. It's been in the works for quite some time now- what, three or four months. We've had an entire month of thirsty thursdays to get together before she takes off, and as the month has gone on it's become so much more something. Like having to go out in the sun again with a sunburn.

I hate saying good-bye.

You know I love you, missy. I'll be seeing you soon in the land down under (aka the South).

Kisses.

signs of spring

2007-04-25T23:19:00.000-04:00

It finally happened. As you can see from the pictures from last weekend, Spring finally got here. Here are some of the ways I figured it out:

It's gotten warmer

It's raining instead of snowing
Flowers are everywhere (crocuses, daffodils, rhododendrons, tulips- the works)

Grey is no longer the main color in the tree line

People are exuberantly out of doors

There's a hum in the air that is completely indescribable

Maybe that's why it's called spring. It's the time right before a spring has sprung- remember that from eight grade science? Contained energy or something like that. There's a word for it that I can't remember, but that's spring.

fun with bronzers

2007-04-24T08:16:00.000-04:00

This spring I've decided to once again roll the dice with some skin bronzing devices. These are lotions, sprays or oils that can give your skin that summer glow without ever really seeing the sun. My logic is that these things are better for me than getting an actual tan or using a tanning bed (a popular local technique that will always remind me of the crazy gold medallions and hairy chests from the 70's. I have no idea why).

My problem is that I can't seem to find a way to "apply evenly", which is what the instructions say to do. How can I apply evenly when the lotion, spray or oil is clear? This means I now have brownish orangey splotches on my legs and arms that are ever so attractive.

I think I'll put more on tonight to try to even out the splotches. I'll keep you posted on whether this helps or not. But I do think I'll avoid using this on my arms this time. Anyone ever use one of these things in a way that works?

the view from behind

2007-04-22T19:39:00.000-04:00

Twice this week animals have made driving more fun:

1. I was driving around Cambridge today, trying to get through the excited drivers and pedestrians (cause spring finally got here). This is actually more challenging than you would imagine since everyone is driving and people are walking, running, biking and skate boarding like they have no brains cells left from winter. I must be the only person left who knows how to drive, so everyone else needs to get off the street. I whipped around a corner (I mean carefully turned a corner- sorry Mom) onto a small one-way street and saw a huge moving van slowly chugging along in front of me. I immediately became irritated because any large slow van in front of me is irritating no matter what else is going on. And then almost 1 nano-second later had to smile because I saw the picture on the back of the van:

I had to borrow this picture from someone else on the internet, so it's not very good. Imagine it not blurry, on a much larger moving van and, well, the rear end of a big pink hippo. Gotta love that cruising along the small streets of Cambridge. I smiled the whole ten blocks behind the damn thing.

2. Once again, I was driving but this time it was Friday and I was late for a meeting in Lawrence. I was pretty stressed because it takes almost an hour to get from Lynn to Lawrence and I needed to get to the office on time since I was hosting this meeting. And nothing makes me more crazy than being late to my own meeting. I hate being late, but being late to my own meeting just makes me bonkers. I was also stuck behind a slow driver. It was, if you think about it, the perfect storm for Stef's brand of road rage. Just so you know, I usually allow enough time to get to meetings so I don't show up enraged but this particular day it was pretty much out of my control.

I try not to do anything while driving that will get me pulled over or in the hospital, and tailgating is something that I just don't believe in. But I was increasingly considering an exception when I saw that there was a dog in the front seat with the driver (no doggy seat belt in sight!). At first I didn't notice the dog since I didn't want to look into the car at all- I wanted it out of my way. After a couple of minutes of stewing, tho, I noticed the dog was giving the driver a lot of affection, which is nothing but adorable. And the dog's tail was slowly waving back and forth in a kind of lazy, happy dogginess that was very obvious. And I couldn't help but smile. I've taken too many dogs on walks and drives to ignore the contentment radiating out of that damned car. And then I realized that the driver was probably driving slowly so because the dog was in the front seat (this is what dog seat belts are made for, you know). The driver could have gotten out of the fricken fast lane, but the other cars were going even slower, if you can believe it. Seeing the dog so happy made me calm down and just resign myself to my fate. I was only a couple minutes late, and the folks I was meeting with got there just when I did, so it turned out ok.

There's nothing quite so good as the animals to remind me that there are more important things than getting there on time.

btw- Go to Natae's website to see more Maine pictures. Tiffany took them and they're really good. I'd highly recommend checking them out.

Maine day

2007-04-22T10:46:00.000-04:00

I spent an excellent day yesterday in Maine with Natae, Kristen and Tiffany. It was an all day road trip and we sure did the coast well. There were cute stores, lighthouses, ocean views, ice cream, lobster rolls, and fabulous fabulous friends. It's also Natae's last Saturday here as a Boston resident, so I'm a little sad.

In retaliation I stole some pictures from her website so you can see a little of what the day looked like. Really, you guys have to take a day trip with me some time.

It's too fun for words. Oh, and I've discovered that lobster pizza and cookies are an excellent diet to help me look fabulous for Becky and Alex's big day.

I'll steal more pictures as Natae puts them up.

I hope your Saturdays were as fun as mine was.

youngish

2007-04-20T21:37:00.000-04:00

I was thinking today about getting older and feeling younger. I have friends who seem older than I am, but are technically younger than me. And it's not like they don't have fun, or even that their kind of fun is older. I mean, I've had fun with them. We can have the same taste in fun. They're smart and are reasonably knowledgeable about life, as am I. But I can't help but feel like they're older than me.

So what part is really different? Is it that I'll be silly and sing to songs at restaurants/bars/in my car/just about anywhere- who am I kidding? That can't be it. It's not about being an idiot in public. Perhaps it's a feeling of maturity or appropriateness. I think I'm mature, but I don't always care about appropriate.

Well, here's a list of what I think might be possible answers:

Could be a matter of doing things that seem adultesque for an extended time. Getting married, having kids, buying the house or working god awful hours.
Maybe it's that they enjoy being adult like, feeling adultish. Maybe that's where they get their joy, instead of singing along to the kick ass song on the radio.
Or it could be they stop feeling like there's something new to learn, something new out there. The ritual or sameness is where the contentment is.
Or it might just be that they don't feel out on the edge of their lives to me anymore, or that they don't have to.

I know it sounds like feeling older is bad. And it's not. I guess I have a bias cause I don't really want to be adultish. It's not that I worry about getting older, I just worry about having different things be important to me or to choose to do other things that don't make me as happy.

Really, this is all probably a long way around the fact that I'm having a little bit of a umm response to my birthday a couple of months ago. Not a bad reaction, as in severe allergic reaction and must get a shot. But it was a little more startling than other birthdays.

And perhaps there's a small part of me that is jealous of these 'older' friends and wary about this entire process of getting older. Everyone makes decisions and compromises as time goes on. And I'm a little worried. Not about the decisions I've made so far- I honestly have no regrets and my life is so thoroughly wonderful. But the what if's have been creeping in lately and that irritates me. I hate what if's. And I hate that turning 35 has made them come around more. Bah.

This past birthday won't hit me as hard, tho, as my brother's next birthday. Holy cow, man, I should be asking you for advice. How are you dealing with getting so old? How did we get here so fast?

Cuchi Cuchi

2007-04-18T22:11:00.000-04:00

Natae and I had dinner tonight at Cuchi Cuchi (http://www.cuchicuchi.cc/). Heather is having her birthday fiesta there tonight and we decided to go there early and get some dinner before folks showed up. And let me tell you the food was hella yum. Becky and Alex, the next time you come to visit (sometime in 2075) we will definitely go there. It's a mushroom and dairy-rich environment. And desert was a kind of banana flambe alamode french toast combo that was a bit of heaven. My stomach kinda hurts, but lordy was it worth it.

My apologies to Heather. Natae got through dinner, but her poor teeth were hurting so much that I drove her home before the party started. Dinner was so good, tho, that I'm still feeling the good food glow.

I tried to find a picture to go with this post- something about bananas and dessert- but everything looked like a body part or a body function. Go figure. I did manage to find this one, which I think epitomizes how I feel about bananas right about now.

I think someone ignored the memo

2007-04-17T17:35:00.000-04:00

Who ever is in charge of spring this year sucks. I like rain and cold and blustery days as much as (if not more than) then next person. But can we have a little spring soon? Please?

What kind of superhero are you?

2007-04-16T11:30:00.000-04:00

I went to Aviva's house last night to celebrate Dori's birthday (both friends from grad school) and as I was leaving we got on to a brief conversation about superheroes. You see, there was one friend from grad school there who will sometimes share stories about her job (who doesn't). And the way she'll describe her co-workers is to give them names- like Irritating Man (aka Obnoxious Man) or Glitter Girl or whatever. And these names are so descriptive that we can usually keep track of the different players at work without ever really knowing who they are.

So one day I was laughing to myself about the names Anna gives to folks, when it occurred to me that she might give me or some of our friends similar names if she ever talks about us to other people. Uh oh. Now I'm curious.

The other thing is that I've always thought people have at least one thing (if not more) that they can do better than just about anyone else. For some it's organizing their lives through excel spreadsheets, or making the best bread pudding on the planet (yum! more please).

I always thought Tori's talents are to be whatever kind of friend you need her to be (Superfriend), and to be able to have fun anywhere (The Coordinator of Coolness). She's awesome. Driving around town in her party mobile.

And Natae, I still have to think about yours. I've almost got it, but I can't quite put it into words yet. Something about being real and loving and accepting and uninhibited (but not in a bad way) and being able to enjoy things in such an absolute way. You're kind of my personal hero sometimes, not just a super hero.

Becky and Alex, hmmm. Well, Alex, among your many talents you could easily be Precision Man. And Supremely Stylish Fashion Sense Man. And Very Good Friend to Me Man. Wearing your Precious Ring, which gives you super powers. And Beckaloo, I think for me you're just going to have to be BFF. One of the best superheroes there is. I'm thinking I might want to save the rest for the wedding.

But do you guys ever think about your talents, the things you do that are special or unusual? I'd be curious to hear...

On a scale of 1 to 10, how big is the dork factor?

2007-04-15T15:44:00.000-04:00

So I've had a little bit of unanswered time here this Sunday afternoon. I went for a quick walk with Mz Natae a little earlier, who was a real trooper for strolling around in the rain, getting her sneakers and comfy pants all wet. But she was willing to be convinced that it would be fun. And it was, at least for me. All ways are good when hanging with the Natae-ster.

I then went home, decided to grab some food and spend some time listening to NPR. I actually don't listen to NPR as much as I used to, since I still haven't gotten used to schedule they have here in the greater Boston area. But I did manage to get a little quality time with my favorite show, This American Life, and was thinking about spending tomorrow's rainy day doing some marathon listening to their website for a day's worth of story telling. Ahh, sweet decadence.

So, and here's what I really wanted to say, I was listening to NPR, switching between Boston's show and the show streaming out from San Francisco, finally settling on Prairie Home Companion (I haven't listened to these guys for quite a long time and kind of missed them). Meanwhile I was reading different things on the internet- just generally kicking around cyberspace, relaxing. And I was looking over the online version of the New Yorker, which I've recently decided to give a try. Good friends of mine have it and I always seem to like the stories, so this year I asked for a subscription for my birthday and have been trying to see if I'm at all enriched by it. And, yes, I was reading it online, even though I have the last four magazines sitting on my table 8 feet away from me. Fine, I was lazy, whatever.

And what did I find? An article about This American Life! It was very exciting. I thought it was a sign, that maybe I will like the New Yorker. And I clicked on the article, curious about what someone else might say about this fabulous show. Next thing I know I'm reading about a person writing about how much they wished they liked TAL (us uber-fans use this abbreviation for This American Life) but just couldn't bring herself to get over the innate smugness of the content and the irritating nature of Ira Glass's voice. Hmph.

Good god, Nancy Franklin. Get over yourself. I mean, are you trying to hate the show? Can you not see the benefit to listening to stories from all over the country, almost tangibly feeling the different ways we are, really, all the same? Blood, bones, thoughts, feelings- we're all people with things in common even if you're pro whatever I'm con. Do you not see the wealth of benefit this show brings to us? Have you even really given it a try? Even listened to a couple of shows? What kind of magazine is this, anyway? Why now, when I'm just starting to get to know it? I don't want to read the New Yorker again. I mean, it dissed my man, Ira. I'll call and cancel my subscription, by god. Sorry, Mom. I know I asked for it, but I have to give the money back. I am so outraged.

And then it hit me. I was listening to NPR, reading about a show on NPR from an article in the New Yorker. I think this makes me maybe a little umm pretentious. Or, at least, a dork. At the very least, I'm a dork. But does this push me over the line into geek? Not that I care all that much. It's not the first time I've never meant to walk this dork/geek line.

But I still laugh every time I notice it.

And so it begins

2007-04-13T22:22:00.000-04:00

Well, it looks like I have to start one of these because my friend, Natae (my blogsource, my documentor for all things social; http://beaner33.blogspot.com) is leaving town. There have been a few times (not that many, but it has been known to happen) where I've looked at her blog from the night before and THEN remembered all the happenings. I could tell friends from California to look at her blog if they wanted to know what I did over the weekend. She would post pictures when she got home at 2 am and there we all would be, in our various stages of drunkenness.

And now it's changing. And of course I'm happy for her. How many people find the man of their dreams and decide to move across the country to be with him? But back to me. Now I have to rely on my own memory. Ugh. And it looks like I have to buy a digital camera.